Snorkel Bandits

Excuse me, have you seen my panties?

Before leaving the US we tried to equip ourselves with the perfect set of travel clothes. Our backpacks are small enough to be considered carry-on bags at the airport, which means that each piece of clothing we carry is carefully considered. It needs to be lightweight, easily hand washed, quick drying, durable and most of all comfortable. Sometimes we discard things that haven’t proven their usefulness and sometimes we add to the collection but Fern and I both have a few items that are just perfect. One such item is Fern’s favorite pair of bright yellowish green Patagonia panties.

She put them out on a drying rack on our balcony one night and in the morning she discovered that they were gone. She panicked a little bit. How could she possibly survive without those panties? Since our room was upstairs and the balcony was only accessible to us it became clear that the wind had carried them away during the night. They couldn’t have gone far so we searched the ground around our place. We looked up in the trees and in all the decorative plants growing in the garden. The property itself was a long and narrow tract leading uphill, away from the road, and there was a long fence on each side. We peeked over one of the fences, scanning the overgrown grasses and weeds but saw nothing. On the other side was a hotel under construction so we went over there, looked around, and asked the workers if they had seen them. They spread the word amongst themselves but nobody had seen them. Where could they have gone?

There was one last possibility and it seemed that even if it were the case, it was unlikely that Fern would see her panties again.

Every morning, just as the sun was rising, we could hear somebody outside sweeping the premises. In fact this seems to be almost universal throughout southeast Asia. A lot of dust gets blown around and the plant life is so dense that there are constantly leaves, branches, flowers, seeds, and pollen littering the ground, not to mention the insects. Sweeping is a never-ending task and the gentle sound of it has become a natural part of the morning ritual, much like birds singing and roosters cocka-doodle-dooing. It was possible that whoever swept that morning had found Fern’s panties and either set them aside or put them in the trash.

Fern went down to the front desk, which was in the dining area, and with all the other guests looking up from their breakfasts she tried to convey her situation to a woman who didn’t speak much English. She eventually fetched Gede, who not only spoke English, but was incredibly helpful and would go to nearly any length to help out. He told Fern that the person who swept that morning had gone home already but he would call them and see what he could find out. All Fern could do at that point was wait. And hope.

We went off to the beach, did some snorkeling, and had a lovely afternoon and when we got back to our place Gede had Fern’s panties in his hand. Fortunately she knew that they were freshly washed but he didn’t know that. The morning sweeper had swept them into the trash and Gede dug through the trash to find them. As embarrassed as Fern was, Gede did nothing to make her feel more uncomfortable. Just part of the job to him. That is some true hospitality. Thanks, Gede.

jim@snorkelbandits.com